Finding Connection When You Feel Alone: Practical Ways to Ease Loneliness

Loneliness touches every single one of us at some point. Sometimes it’s a quiet ache; other times it’s an all-consuming emptiness. I know it firsthand.

Fifteen years ago, I spent two years teaching in South Korea. During my second year, I moved to a smaller city where I didn’t know anyone. My fellow teachers were in different areas. I didn’t speak Korean beyond a few words, and dyslexia made learning a new language even harder. Suddenly, I couldn’t even enjoy small talk with a barista or a cashier. It was the loneliest time of my life.

To cope, I turned to online interactions. It helped a little, but it wasn’t the same as an in-person connection. Eventually, I began preparing to return home. I reached out to old friends, started planning a new chapter, and built small connections where I could. It wasn’t easy, but even small bits of connection were better than none.

We’re wired for connection. When we’re isolated, our minds and moods shift. Many of us felt this during the pandemic: those first awkward conversations, the feeling of being out of practice. But you can gently push through the discomfort and reconnect with others.

Loneliness can also show up when you’re surrounded by people. Coming home after Korea, I had friends and family again, yet I felt out of sync. We had all changed. That’s a different kind of loneliness, and one that can feel even more confusing.

So what can you do when you feel disconnected? Here are some gentle ways to start easing loneliness and rebuilding connection.

Practical Ways to Ease Loneliness

Be kind to yourself.
Treat yourself with the same care you long for from others. Give yourself small comforts. Maybe it’s a spa day at home, a favourite meal, or a forgiving inner voice. You’re human. Mistakes happen. Forgive yourself and try again tomorrow.

Challenge negative thoughts with truth.
Thoughts like “no one cares about me” aren’t facts. They are feelings. Name the people who would notice if you were gone—you might be surprised how long that list is. Even small connections (the neighbour, the barista, a coworker, a pet) matter. Recognizing them honours both yourself and those relationships.

Shift your focus outward.
Ruminating on loneliness can make it worse. Celebrate others’ wins. Offer support. Notice beauty. It softens the edges of your own pain and makes joy feel closer.

Be present.
Turn off your headphones. Notice the sky, the smells, the sounds around you—even in the grocery store. Simple mindfulness moments help ground you.

Get outside daily.
Even a short walk can lift your mood and increase your chances of a small connection.

Smile at strangers.
A gentle smile signals safety and openness, and people often smile back. Small moments of warmth matter.

Reconsider your free time.
If all your downtime is spent alone at home, connection can’t find you. Try being out in the world at least once a week.

Say yes to invitations.
Even if it’s not “your thing,” go. You never know who you’ll meet or what joy you’ll stumble upon.

Reach out honestly.
Tell a friend you’re feeling lonely and ask to meet up. Be specific with time, place, and activity to make it easy for them to show up.

Go online mindfully.
If local connections are scarce, online communities can help. Choose spaces where you can be authentic.

Start small conversations.
Greet the cashier, chat with the librarian, talk to your barista. These micro-interactions build a sense of belonging.

Create moments of awe.
Seek out beauty—watch a sunrise, gaze at the stars, stand at a mountaintop view. Awe connects us to something bigger.

Reconnect with yourself.
Journal, take a spa day, or do activities that bring you joy. Sometimes loneliness is also disconnection from oneself.

Try a new hobby or volunteer.
Classes, meetups, and volunteering introduce you to like-minded people and give you a sense of purpose.

Spend money on experiences rather than things.
If you are in a position to do so, try something new. Go to that event that you have always wanted to go to. See the movie that you are passionate about. Don’t wait for others to live your best life.

Create a vision board.
Visualizing the future you want—especially around connection and community—gives you hope and direction.

And through it all, be gentle with yourself. Compassion toward others starts with compassion toward yourself.

If any of this resonates with you and you’re not sure where to start,

please reach out. We’d love to walk alongside you.

Journal Prompts

• When do I feel most lonely? What’s usually happening around me at those times?

• List three people—no matter how small the connection—who would notice if I were gone.

• What small action could I take today to create or nurture a connection?

• How can I be kinder to myself this week?

• What activities bring me a sense of awe or wonder? How can I include more of them in my life?

Extra Resources

• Books
  Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection – John Cacioppo
  Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World – Vivek Murthy
  Braving the Wilderness – Brené Brown

• Apps
  Meetup (find local groups with shared interests)
  Insight Timer (guided meditations for loneliness and self-compassion)
  Idealist (find volunteering opportunities near you)

• Podcast
  Ten Percent Happier – episodes on connection and self-compassion