What Makes a Family?

I often invite clients to pause and reflect, not on what family “should” be, but what it actually is for them. Because what makes a family isn't just biology, or tradition, or what others expect, it’s shared connection, care, and the ongoing effort to belong to each other.

Family Comes in Many Forms

In today's world, families are beautifully diverse:

• Biological or Adoptive Families
  Parents, children, and siblings, raised together or apart.

• Blended Families
  Step-parents, step-siblings, and co-parenting across households.

• Chosen Families
  Close friends, mentors, or community members who provide love and support where it may have been absent.

• Intergenerational Families
  Grandparents raising grandchildren, or adult children caring for aging parents.

• LGBTQIA+ Families
  Built on resilience, intention, and often chosen kinship beyond traditional norms.

Each of these holds the potential for love, support, growth and yes, conflict and complexity.

What Holds a Family Together?

Regardless of its structure, the strength of a family isn’t in its labels. It’s in how its members relate to each other. The healthiest families often share:

• Emotional Safety: A space to be vulnerable without fear of shame or rejection.

• Respect for Differences: Valuing individuality within the unit.

• Rupture and Repair: Conflicts are inevitable, but healing is possible.

• Mutual Support: Showing up for one another, especially when it’s hard.

• Flexibility: Understanding that roles, needs, and boundaries shift over time.

 When Family Hurts

It’s important to acknowledge that for many people, family has not felt like a safe or loving space. Some have experienced neglect, emotional harm, or ongoing dynamics that are painful or toxic.

To those individuals: your experiences are valid. And you have every right to define family in a way that protects your well-being and honors your truth.

A Gentle Invitation

What does family mean to you not what you were taught it should mean, but what you need it to be?

This post is the beginning of a series on family relationships. In the weeks to come, we’ll explore how emotions, boundaries, healing, and reconnection show up within family systems of all kinds.

If this topic resonates with you, I invite you to reflect, journal or reach out. You’re not alone in this journey.