Moving Through Avoidance: Taking Small Steps Toward What Matters
We all have things we sometimes put off, avoid, or feel hesitant to face, whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, attending social events, or tackling challenging tasks. Avoiding these situations can feel easier in the moment, but over time, it can make it harder to engage fully with life and the things that matter to us.
Why We Avoid
Avoidance often shows up as a way to protect ourselves from discomfort. While it can provide a quick sense of relief, it can also make certain situations feel more intimidating the next time they come up. For example, staying silent in a meeting might feel safe at first, but it can make speaking up feel more difficult over time.
Recognizing Avoidance
Avoidance can take many forms, such as:
Putting off tasks or decisions
Withdrawing from social situations
Steering clear of challenges that feel overwhelming
These behaviours aren’t “bad”, they’re a natural response to discomfort, but they can limit opportunities for growth and connection.
Taking Small Steps Forward
One helpful approach is gradual exposure, which means facing challenging situations in small, manageable steps. Pairing this with SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) can make your progress even clearer and more motivating.
Here’s how it can work:
Notice What You Avoid: Pay attention to situations, tasks, or experiences you tend to put off.
Set a SMART Goal: For each challenge, define a goal that is clear and realistic. For example:
Specific: “I will speak up at least once in tomorrow’s team meeting.”
Measurable: “I’ll track each time I participate.”
Achievable: “I’ll start with one contribution instead of trying to speak throughout.”
Relevant: “Participating will help me feel more confident and involved at work.”
Time-bound: “I’ll do this by the end of the week.”
Take the First Step: Begin with the least intimidating challenge. Notice your reactions and stay with the experience.
Build Gradually: Move on to slightly bigger challenges, setting new SMART goals along the way. This builds confidence and momentum.
Growing Confidence
Facing what you’ve been avoiding isn’t about forcing yourself, it’s about discovering what you’re capable of. Each step helps you trust yourself more and feel more equipped to handle life’s ups and downs. Over time, these small steps can create a sense of freedom and openness in your day-to-day life.
Tips for Success
Start Small: Tiny steps are still progress.
Be Consistent: Regular practice reinforces growth.
Celebrate Wins: Every step forward counts, and recognizing your efforts boosts motivation.
Use SMART Goals: Clear goals make it easier to track progress and stay motivated.
Moving Forward
Learning to face what you’ve been avoiding is a journey, not a race. By taking small, intentional steps and using SMART goals to guide your progress, you can gradually open up more opportunities, experiences, and connections in your life. With patience and persistence, you can move toward a life that feels fuller, freer, and more aligned with what matters to you.
