Building Resilience When Life Feels Heavy: 5 Tools to help you bounce back
Resilience is one of those things most of us don’t think much about…until we have to. But the truth is, people overcome incredible obstacles every single day. And chances are, you’ve already shown more resilience than you give yourself credit for.
Still, when we’re healing from trauma or facing a major life challenge, everything can feel… heavy. Like we’re already starting from behind, and life just keeps adding “one more thing” to the pile. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
So how do resilient people keep moving forward when life gets hard?
They lean into five key areas. And good news, you can too. You don’t have to be born with resilience. It’s a skill — and like any skill, it can be built.
Let’s break it down:
1. Connection – Surround yourself with people who lift you up
Resilient people don’t try to do it all alone. They seek out healthy, supportive connections. That might mean checking in with your support system—or rethinking who you spend your time with.
Ask yourself: Do my friends lift me up the way I lift them? If not, it might be time to build a stronger, more encouraging circle. Your people should make you feel safe, valued, and understood. Everyone deserves a good village.
2. Healthy Thinking – Shift your mindset with compassion
This one’s big. The way we think about our challenges shapes how we cope with them. Here are a few ways to support your mental and emotional health:
Watch out for “all-or-nothing” thinking. When your brain says, “Nothing ever works out for me,” gently challenge it. Is that really true? Probably not.
Accept that change is part of life. Change can be painful—but it can also open the door to new things. Even in hard moments, look for tiny slivers of light. They’re often there, even if they’re easy to miss.
Reflect, don’t ruminate. What led up to this moment? Is it part of a pattern you’ve seen before? Journaling can help you spot repeated cycles or triggers and start working through them. If you feel like you are running in a thought loop that isn’t giving you answers, maybe it’s time to take a break, think about something else, or ask yourself, “What can I do to give myself closure?” The answer might surprise you.
Stay hopeful—even if it’s hard. If your own hope feels low, borrow some from someone else. Talk to a friend or reach out to a counsellor. You don’t have to do this alone.
Visualize a brighter future. Imagine where you want to be. Create a vision board, journal about your dream life, or just sit and feel what it might be like to reach your goals. You don’t need to have all the steps figured out—just focus on the feeling. That vision becomes your compass.
3. Wellness – Care for the Body That Carries You, and the heart that sustains you
Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few simple ways to nurture yourself when life feels hard:
Do activities you enjoy—anything that gives you a moment of peace, joy or awe
Move your body—walking totally counts!
Try to get enough rest (or at least rest when you can)
Nourish yourself with food when you’re able
Most of all: be kind to yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. Small things count. Everything you do to support yourself—no matter how tiny—matters.
Think of it this way: treat yourself like you’d treat a friend going through a hard time.
4. Meaning – Find purpose in small things
You don’t have to discover the meaning of life—just something meaningful today. That might mean:
Setting a small goal, like taking a shower, brushing your teeth, or doing one load of laundry
Taking a short walk or texting a friend
Doing something that feels aligned with the person you want to be
Celebrate the little wins. They matter. Accomplishing even one thing can help clear mental clutter and give you a boost of confidence and peace.
5. Action – Do the thing! (even if it’s tiny)
When life feels chaotic, action can feel impossible. We get overwhelmed, stuck, and frozen. The trick? Break things down.
Instead of cleaning the whole messy desk, just gather the empty mugs. Toss out a few papers. One small task. Then another. You don’t have to climb the whole mountain today—just take one step.
Progress doesn’t have to be fast to be real. The point isn’t to do it all at once. It’s to prove to yourself that you can move forward, one step at a time.
Final Thoughts
Resilience isn’t about having it all together. It’s about getting back up—again and again—and learning to be gentle with yourself in the process.
Whether you’re healing, growing, or just trying to make it through the day, remember: you have more strength than you think. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Tools you can try!
Books:
“The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
“Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown
Websites & Apps:
Insight Timer (free meditation app)
Tack Yoga (free yoga app- very calming)
Finch (free productivity and self-care app)
Ask Yourself:
Take a few moments today and ask yourself: What’s one small step I can take right now—just for me? Then do it without pressure or perfection. You’re doing better than you think.
Journal prompts:
“What does resilience look like in my life right now?”
“What is one thing I can do/give myself today that will make my life a tiny bit better?”
“Name one thing I am grateful for, and one thing that I am hopeful for. Bonus points: describe why those things matter.”
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If any of this resonates with you and you’re not sure where to start, please reach out. We’d love to walk alongside you.
